She is a Blo-ga-a-ho-lic

Just a HDB budget Tai Tai who wants to live her life to the fullest

Too many requests but this one…


Why? Why me? Why now? So helpless that I can’t even rant on my Facebook or voice my feeling. I have already give in a lot and I also trying to make everyone happy. Still, it has to be me ! I am facing some problems here and this helper is not helping anything much yet put me in a difficult position.

Barely 4 months with us. She asked me if she can go out and meet her cousin in city hall. It was her cousin’s idea. Doesn’t she know she has signed on the agreement that she is paid more as she agreed no off day ? Now, she is asking if she can have one adhoc day off???!!!!!??? I hate it, hate it so much as I know I have to tolerate her and close both eyes as she will show me her long face like as if I owe her a life; on the other hand, it isn’t easy for me to reject because the meet up is very important to her and I am a “bad employer” in many eyes. This is the thing I can’t share on my FB as there are simply too many fake “American” who love to talk about freedom. Ya, like as if I am the one who took them out of their village and locked them at my house to work like a slave.

Even I myself started working as a junior had probation period in ward. This girl is requesting something she is not “entitled to”.

At first we thought of letting her meet up with her cousin, knowing her character of being timid and kiasi, she will not make it to city hall from our place if she were to travel alone. Ben even wanted to offer to give her a lift to the exact location, let her have 2 hours of meet up and then we bring her back. During that period, we can go shopping somewhere nearby. Guess what, her cousin already asking for our address and helper told me her cousin will come to my place to bring her out, next month on the 18th. I changed my mind for not telling her our decision but still, we let them meet, not in city hall but at our place, that’s if she die die want to meet up with her cousin. Seriously, like what my friends said, don’t know how many cousins and aunties are coming out next time. I really hope I’ve make myself very clear on this.

At the same time, I took this chance to tell her again that I do not approve on mobile phone. The agent didn’t tell me in advance and I was only informed on the day we picked her from agency. We gave in and let her keep her phone and I top up her cards upon request, of course she has to pay me back the money as she can spend up to 50 plus for a month or 2.

I know not everyone agree with me, I have my own reasons. Why I do not like my helper to own a mobile phone ?
– hygiene, talking while cooking, saliva flying all over, forget to turn off the gas stove
– safety, talking while ironing, forgot to switch off the power
– affect her emotion, suddenly moody because so and so passed away or upset friends got day off. After I told her she can only meet her cousin at our place, she cried ! I should tell her off, let you meet is the max I can do, what are you still crying?
– sloppy work, anyhow finish the chores before the phone rings
– more friends & relatives, busy talking all the time, wear headphone while doing housework, some helpers happily yakking on the phone and leave children unattended
– financial burden, more money to pay bill or top up the cards, may lead to stealing
– accident !? Lately, more and more cases of fatal RTA especially for kids who were crossing the road with helpers, I hope these maid were not on the phone.

Not once but twice I caught her keeping her phone in the pocket during the day time. Our agreements :
– no phone calls during working hours, she can talk after 9pm. That’s her resting time too.
– can keep phone with her all time during weekends.

See, give in to let her have phone, but don’t want to follow rules. Give chance after the incidents, she asked to go out, not once but twice.

Foreign domestic worker aka maid, got “super many patterns”.


4 thoughts on “Too many requests but this one…

  1. Totally agree with you Di !!! Mine also pattern zui zui, agree on ur thoughts of no meet ups or phones. I mean allowing them to call her is the max alr cos their influence is seriously scary. Mine came 1 month alr alot of pattern – sloppy work, revengeful after being scolded, now waiting for new maid.. really sigh.. pay high yet dunno where they stand.. can’t complain on fb too.. hugs dear let us jiayou !

  2. J, I don’t know what have I done wrong to her that she has to torture me mentally this way.

    In the first place, she agreed on no day off yet got the gut to request. All because I have been too lenient on her. Now because my fault as I don’t think I should say yes as this will happen again. Talking about happening again, from jan 2013 onwards, they all can have day off, which is another 2 more months to go ! Why can’t just wait for another 2 months?

    Talking about not being sensitive or neglect her feeling, then who spare a thought for me? Who also has our own set of problem and worry. Moreover, not that she has been extremely well behaved or outstanding in her work. Most of the days, I have to tolerate and take her nonsense. Showing colour face and ignore me when I am talking to her. Many times I told myself to tahan and walk away, try to cheer her up. (She black face because things not done correctly and told her nicely to repeat later)

    I flared up yesterday when hub said I should treat her better because inside my heart, I know I have done more than I should. I never raise my voice at her before and never scolded her in the past 4 months even when ruined my new clothes, broke my thing. Never once ! Now, I am being penalized for not thinking of her behalf, grant her wish to go out.

    I was so upset and still very upset that she has caused us fighting over this. This morning, I told her I will take my own phone (usually she will take for me) and I kept quiet throughout (usually she will talk and ask and talk and ask) and guess what, her face is blacker than charcoal !

  3. Hugs dear.. Don’t fight w Ben over her I know how u felt.. I used to quarrel w Hubby over maid woes he find me petty not nice enough.. just like urs mine also face blacker than charcoal when she din do things correctly & my mil also torture me mentally by nagging me abt her daily after i returned hm..

    Talk to Ben nicely on her attitude.. i think becos he is not facing her whole day he might not know their pattern so to them they r ok what why we kept harping on small issues.. if doesn’t work, give in but enforced its last time, 2013 she will hv off then ask her do whatever she wan then., Their lingual very poor.. so might need repetitions .. mine also say yes in the end realise tak boleh what u say.. faints..

  4. Oh yes, the language is really a huge problem !

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