What do most people do when they are trying to escape from punishment and scolding? They tell lies. Yes, he tells lies. He said “no” & “nothing” when he did something wrong. But I know him too well, I know something happened and I know, most of the time, he is the one at fault. I can’t help but reprimand him, especially when I know he did something wrong on purpose and he just wants attention.
This morning, he walked into the lift and stayed very close to the lift mirror. His lips were touching the mirror, daddy called him in loud tone and I turned over and looked at him.
” What happened?”
I did not bother to find out how & when & why does he tell lie, I just told myself, I need to give him assurance before I question him.
You see, he denies what he did and refuses to tell me the whole stories. I must have been harsh on him that lead him to tell lie to get away from any form of scolding or punishment. Sounds serious huh? All I did was just scolding and time-out.
I, instead of frowning and start my scolding, held his hand and we walked out the lift together.
“Asher, I just want to know what had happened just now, I am not angry.”
“I stick my face on the wall”
“Okay, you sticked you face on the dirty wall. Come, let me wipe your face.”
As I was cleaning his face and lips, I told him,
“See, you can just tell me what went wrong and then we can settle it together. If you keep saying nothing, there is nothing mommy can do to help you. If you don’t tell me you sticked your face on the dirty wall, I won’t know and no one would help you to clean your face.”
And guess what, he then told me he will try not to push his friends. Yeah, my boy pushed Deodan yesterday and he did not apologize. ( bang wall ) But before we reached school, he promised he would say sorry to Deodan and he did! Deodan was so kind and he accepted his apology.
Scolding doesn’t work all the time. I KNOW. I have to keep emphasizing and keep repeating that his action and his wrong doing have consequences. Most importantly, he must apologize and admit his mistake as telling lies only make things worst. ( I hope I can remember this all the time, be patience !)