Have I changed a lot lately? Some friends said yes. Submissive, that’s probably the right word to use, that’s how I feel I am right now. Not sure if this is something good or bad, but I know he loves the “new” me, the new wife of his. Of course I do feel like I kinda fit the bill to be a mistress (trying to be sexy and naughty to him), but, only to my husband. So yes, I am more like a submissive wife, not something bad after all, I just thought so long I don’t feel negative about it, it is okay. 😉
While everyone is talking about how do we survive as a housewife, it is a hot topic for months among other bloggers, I am sharing my thoughts on how I want to be a good wife, not housewife. I’m truly grateful to have him as my soulmate, he is a great dad, a wonderful husband who provides us everything we need and everything we want, it is him who makes me a good housewife, everyone says I’m great mom, and I know my strengths and weaknesses. However, anyone can be a great mom, but she may not be a great wife. I was one of them, period.
So here I’m sharing what are the things I want to change/have changed…
1. Be his best friend and listen
Put down everything and listen when he needs a listener. Learn to listen to understand and not to reply. Let him share his thought and be kind, don’t talk back, don’t throw cold blanket, don’t chid, don’t insult and don’t make fun of him. Let him feel that you’re one that can truly understand him. And start to know his friends/colleagues, like that we will have more conversations and more common friends. I used to know all his colleagues and their spouses, it’s time for some catch up. Thanks Sharad for organizing our next meet ups.
2. Don’t judge
Best friends don’t judge, we listen and a lot of time, our opinions don’t count and not needed. With me, he knows his secret are safe.
3. Wear that lingerie
*okay, this is a little R18* I know I stopped wearing g string or buying sexy lingerie for God-knows-how-many-donkey-years. Hell, you have the asset or not is another issue, it doesn’t really cost a bomb to buy a set. And yes, I threw away all the aunty PJ, and have to remind him not to open the balcony door until I changed into something decent. (And he always make sure I wear something before answering the door in the morning. 😂)
4. Share new hobbies
Yeah, you don’t know me, I gave cold shoulder all the time and what? Try new stuff? Over my dead body. Now, no more, what’s new on my list? I’m learning to mix my own cocktails and we want to have a mini bar at home. Chill~ more private moments after son turns in.
5. Look after my body
I didn’t go on diet deliberately, I just couldn’t stomach much for months and my size has gone down to size 2, but it did help to get me started. I eat healthy, eat everything but small, very small portion and maintain the shape. No more losing weight, I need my boobs. Swimming, sauna, stretching are what I do now. Everyone wants to be slim to look pretty on clothes, I want to look fit when I’m undressed. 😉 at time of posting, the numbers on the machine, same as I was in P4. Oh yes, I was never slim. And lately, I take care of my face too. As kid grows up, less clinic visits, means more $ from our medical fund for me to fix my face.
6. Initiate and Open to sex
Never or if possible, don’t say no, don’t be shy to initiate, say okay to toys or whatever he has in mind. Okay, I sound a little like Ana, not Ana from Frozen, if you read Fifty Shades of Grey, you know what I mean. Not to that extreme, I think I won’t go to that extreme. LOL
One important thing, probably the next most important thing besides holding my tongue is to control my facial muscles. I often pulled long face whenever he was home, unintentionally. I may have a bad day, I don’t quite remember what were they but I mustn’t forget, he too may have his fair share of shit at work. Now I’ve learnt to hide my sour face away and not allowing anything less important issues to affect my mood and emotions.
So you are still with me?
Honestly, I don’t know how many of you are “so mummy” like me to the extend that you lose focus on your husbands, it is like “your kids are your everything and your life as a mother is basically everything you wanna share and talk about.” You know what, when this happens, he is vulnerable, your marriage is on the rock (and you may not even notice that). This is the time when “home wrecker” takes the opportunity to come in between you both and starts to be his “good friend/counsellor”.
So, do I sound like I “saved my marriage” because I changed myself? Actually, no. I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. (by Carl Gustav Jung) and these actions speak louder than words.