Can’t remember since when I started to think that it is fine to make myself upset when something is bothering me because somehow, I can and I will make myself happy again.
People may think I’m crazy, why one makes her life so miserable when life is complicated enough.
Now think about it, if one is consistently feeling low, not developing herself, dwelling, will she and how can she be happy again? To let go? To move on? To forget about those unkind? To stop dealing with the problem? It’s always easier to say than done.
Not once but many times when things bothered me, I tried to solve it but again and again, proven that I’m just down right miserably lousy at solving it. Oh yes, it turned out to be a bigger disaster than just the issue itself. And then, I regretted for saying what I wanted and expressing how I felt because, no one really cares what you’re talking about, no one is listening as everyone listens to defend themselves, listens to talk back, listens to fight for their right to express themselves rather than listens to understand what I want & don’t want, what I need & don’t need, why am I afraid of this & that and why did I behave differently.
So, if one is upset by herself, she dwelled, she harped on it, (oh please let her be, let her go deep deep down there on her own.) and there will be zero expectation, no hope on anyone or anything, nothing will change, no one knows how she feels except herself, no one cares except herself, no one will ever try to do anything because no one knows. And to be happy again, she will, somehow, do something for herself, make herself happy again because she knows, no one will.
So now, it makes little sense huh?
I don’t like to pour sorrow on this platform, not here not on Facebook. It is so unlike me who insists that I should not share unhappiness because it affects others, whether to the person involved or outsiders. Think again, how can one has all beautiful moments with only ups and downs happen in the bedroom? (I had this quote engraved on the inner wedding bands and now I know why it went missing. 真是无知) Mine is just as same, definitely not a bed full of roses all the time, I do have my fair share of unhappiness and miserable moments. Some people made it clear that they don’t like to read or see posts like this, because they feel that something like this should keep to themselves, but hey, I’m out here to shame you, it takes me a lot to share my feeling. If you heard mine and want to make it right, do it. If you hate it, ignore me. (To the “friend” who doesn’t like this type of personal posts, worry no more, I’m not sorting help from you, if you read this, no one force you to be here.)
Sigh, I hope and I will try not to post anything sad…